Gucci Models carry their own Prosthetic Heads down runway

I like to think of myself as someone who dresses well and I think most people can agree that it feels good walking out the door when you know your fit is on point. HOWEVER, understanding the world of high fashion has always and will continue to elude me and this only solidifies argument.

I have zero clue how anybody signed off on this being a good idea, how can the audience properly critique (Are there judges? I’m not sure what actually happens at fashion shows) the clothing when their eyes are always on the extremely realistic severed heads.

Also, why did they pick the creepiest looking models possible? They look like Scandinavian inbreds, wouldn’t surprise me if there’s a little caribou DNA in the blonde.

And why is their a surgery operating table in the back? There’s just way too much going on here.

Would you rather live without the internet or live without AC and heating?

Last night, while surfing the web, I stumbled upon the question above: Would you rather live without the internet or live without AC and heating? A simple would you rather question, maybe bring it up during an icebreaker first week of your new job or ask it playfully on a first date. But as I lay in bed contemplating my answer, I realized this question is much harder to answer than I originally thought. Let’s break it down.

My gut reaction answer to this was OBVIOUSLY, the internet. The internet is one of if not THE best inventions of all time. If you’re reading this, you’re on the internet right now so you know how great it is. With a couple keyboard clicks, I can watch my favorite TV shows, learn how to speak Portuguese, video chat with friends in different parts of the world, watch a girl spread her ass cheeks and work it for the camera, the list is virtually endless.

However, the internet is usually best enjoyed from the comfort of your own home. And what provides that comfort? you ask; Heat and AC. Without being able to control the temperature in your dwelling you’ll never be able to relax and enjoy what the internet can provide you. Your life would be hell if you had to wear a winter coat in your house all winter long. On the other side, speaking from personal experience, I turn into a worthless blob of sweat and tiredness when I’m too hot, absolutely incapable of being productive in any capacity.

No clear winner could be chosen, so I decided to do some research and the results were “surprising”…

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Multiple lists of interesting and cool (it’s funny because air conditioning keeps your house cool LOL) facts on AC. But… I found these lists on the internet!!! I was stuck in an endless cycle. How could I possibly choose which is superior?

Jk, it’s the internet. No debate.

Forget regular jetskis, the Flyride is the future of aquatic liesure sports

It was 70 degrees in Pennsylvania today so I’ve had a Summer mindset all day. I can’t wait for warm weather to be back, I’m starting to get beach withdrawals, and all of a sudden this pops up on my timeline. I don’t want one of these tho, I NEED one of these. This thing is the closest humanity has come to inventing a commercial hovercraft and at only $6,000 it’s pretty reasonably priced.

The Flyride even has an automatic barrel-roll button

 

AT THE TOUCH OF A BUTTON

 

**Side Notes**

How about the balls on that little kid riding backwards and standing up

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Never Forget

 

#KFCCrisis Update!

If you have not already read my original blog on the KFC chicken shortage, click HERE.

HAHAHAHAHA. People have now begun angrily calling police stations demanding that local KFC restaurants be reopened in the UK. Just as I predicted, you take away the people’s fried chicken and…

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McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce is (alledgedly) coming back February 26th

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Oh geez, Rick.

Die-hard fans of the Adult Swim show, Rick and Morty are salivating at the mouth as images leak online showing sauce cups and a memo describing an upcoming promotion for Szechuan Sauce.

While most fans are excited to get another taste of the very limitedly released sauce, others, this one guy in particular, have to be in a pit of regret…

Discontinued McDonald’s Sauce of Rick and Morty Fame Draws $15,000 Bid on eBay

… Discontinued no more. What a fucking asshole. Anyone who’s dumb enough to buy McNuggets sauce for 15k deserves to have their money taken away from them, don’t need people like that influencing the economy.  Paying a 3750% markup for a sauce is the millennial equivalent to sinking your savings into a bunker so you survive Y2K.

 

Juicing Your Bookie with Big Red Vol. 4

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shoutout to anyone who decided to ride with me Friday night, you’re welcome. The Money line stays red-hot, the parlay remains profitable, and the over/under is warming up, but I still can’t pick a spread correctly if I had a gun to my head.

Straight Pick (Money Line): (3-0-0)

-160 Vegas Golden Knights (39-15-4)  vs. Anaheim Ducks (29-20-11)

With a win tonight Vegas breaks the record for most home wins by an expansion team (Passing the ’79 Hartford Whalers) so it’s a big night in Sin City. Tonight is also the conclusion of their four-game series with the Ducks who they beat in the first three meetings.

Straight Pick (Spread): (0-3-0)

+2 Maryland (18-11,7-9) vs. Northwestern (15-13,6-9)

REALLY need a win for the spread column tonight, this one is a coin toss of a game so I decided to fade the public.

Over/Under: (1-2-0)

Over 140  Miami Hurricanes  @ Notre Dame

Using the model again since it won me some money Friday night.

Parlay: (2-1-0)

Under 6 Ottawa Senators @ Nashville Predators

Under 5½ LA Kings @ Chicago Blackhawks

Both unders are favored at -120 and based on my eye test (I have great vision) I’d say it’s justified.