Gucci Models carry their own Prosthetic Heads down runway

I like to think of myself as someone who dresses well and I think most people can agree that it feels good walking out the door when you know your fit is on point. HOWEVER, understanding the world of high fashion has always and will continue to elude me and this only solidifies argument.

I have zero clue how anybody signed off on this being a good idea, how can the audience properly critique (Are there judges? I’m not sure what actually happens at fashion shows) the clothing when their eyes are always on the extremely realistic severed heads.

Also, why did they pick the creepiest looking models possible? They look like Scandinavian inbreds, wouldn’t surprise me if there’s a little caribou DNA in the blonde.

And why is their a surgery operating table in the back? There’s just way too much going on here.

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Would you rather live without the internet or live without AC and heating?

Last night, while surfing the web, I stumbled upon the question above: Would you rather live without the internet or live without AC and heating? A simple would you rather question, maybe bring it up during an icebreaker first week of your new job or ask it playfully on a first date. But as I lay in bed contemplating my answer, I realized this question is much harder to answer than I originally thought. Let’s break it down.

My gut reaction answer to this was OBVIOUSLY, the internet. The internet is one of if not THE best inventions of all time. If you’re reading this, you’re on the internet right now so you know how great it is. With a couple keyboard clicks, I can watch my favorite TV shows, learn how to speak Portuguese, video chat with friends in different parts of the world, watch a girl spread her ass cheeks and work it for the camera, the list is virtually endless.

However, the internet is usually best enjoyed from the comfort of your own home. And what provides that comfort? you ask; Heat and AC. Without being able to control the temperature in your dwelling you’ll never be able to relax and enjoy what the internet can provide you. Your life would be hell if you had to wear a winter coat in your house all winter long. On the other side, speaking from personal experience, I turn into a worthless blob of sweat and tiredness when I’m too hot, absolutely incapable of being productive in any capacity.

No clear winner could be chosen, so I decided to do some research and the results were “surprising”…

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Multiple lists of interesting and cool (it’s funny because air conditioning keeps your house cool LOL) facts on AC. But… I found these lists on the internet!!! I was stuck in an endless cycle. How could I possibly choose which is superior?

Jk, it’s the internet. No debate.

#KFCCrisis Update!

If you have not already read my original blog on the KFC chicken shortage, click HERE.

HAHAHAHAHA. People have now begun angrily calling police stations demanding that local KFC restaurants be reopened in the UK. Just as I predicted, you take away the people’s fried chicken and…

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McDonald’s Szechuan Sauce is (alledgedly) coming back February 26th

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Oh geez, Rick.

Die-hard fans of the Adult Swim show, Rick and Morty are salivating at the mouth as images leak online showing sauce cups and a memo describing an upcoming promotion for Szechuan Sauce.

While most fans are excited to get another taste of the very limitedly released sauce, others, this one guy in particular, have to be in a pit of regret…

Discontinued McDonald’s Sauce of Rick and Morty Fame Draws $15,000 Bid on eBay

… Discontinued no more. What a fucking asshole. Anyone who’s dumb enough to buy McNuggets sauce for 15k deserves to have their money taken away from them, don’t need people like that influencing the economy.  Paying a 3750% markup for a sauce is the millennial equivalent to sinking your savings into a bunker so you survive Y2K.

 

Juicing Your Bookie with Big Red Vol. 4

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Shoutout to anyone who decided to ride with me Friday night, you’re welcome. The Money line stays red-hot, the parlay remains profitable, and the over/under is warming up, but I still can’t pick a spread correctly if I had a gun to my head.

Straight Pick (Money Line): (3-0-0)

-160 Vegas Golden Knights (39-15-4)  vs. Anaheim Ducks (29-20-11)

With a win tonight Vegas breaks the record for most home wins by an expansion team (Passing the ’79 Hartford Whalers) so it’s a big night in Sin City. Tonight is also the conclusion of their four-game series with the Ducks who they beat in the first three meetings.

Straight Pick (Spread): (0-3-0)

+2 Maryland (18-11,7-9) vs. Northwestern (15-13,6-9)

REALLY need a win for the spread column tonight, this one is a coin toss of a game so I decided to fade the public.

Over/Under: (1-2-0)

Over 140  Miami Hurricanes  @ Notre Dame

Using the model again since it won me some money Friday night.

Parlay: (2-1-0)

Under 6 Ottawa Senators @ Nashville Predators

Under 5½ LA Kings @ Chicago Blackhawks

Both unders are favored at -120 and based on my eye test (I have great vision) I’d say it’s justified.

 

KFC forced to temporarily close nearly 900 of their UK and Ireland locations because they ran out of CHICKEN!

LONDON (AP) — Fast-food fans were in a flutter Monday after most of the 900 KFC outlets in the U.K. and Ireland were forced to close because of a shortage of chicken.

The company apologized to customers, blaming “teething problems” with its new delivery partner, DHL.

While shutting down 900 stores probably isn’t great for revenue, KFC actually got off pretty easy here. Had this problem occurred back here in the good ole’ USA there would be cities burned to the ground, widespread pandemonium in the streets, and death tolls rising by the minute.

American’s love their fried chicken, 35 million people go to KFC every month.

American’s also love an excuse to go riot…

 

 

Losing KFC would cause fury and devastation not seen on this earth since the Enola Gay gave Japan a special delivery. So next time you go out on your lunch break please remember all the good people out there keeping us safe.

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Thank you for your service.

 

 

Read Part 2 HERE

Juicing Your Bookie with Big Red Vol. 3

Disappointing turn out last night, but the money line is staying hot as the Flames back up goaltender David Rittich was able to keep the Preds to 3 goals and secure the one-point victory. Huston upset Cincinnati despite not scoring for minutes at a time. Team USA Hockey pulled out the win but failed to cover against Slovakia sinking the parlay to a 1-1-0 record.

Straight Pick (Money Line): (2-0-0)

-140 Dallas Stars (33-20-4)  vs. St. Louis Blues (34-21-4)

With an opportunity to tie the third-place Blues at 72 points in the Central Division, expect Dallas to bring the noise and take advantage of being on home ice.

Straight Pick (Spread): (0-2-0)

-1½ Carolina Hurricanes (27-22-9) vs. NY Islanders (28-25-6)

The Isles have only won two out of seven games in the month of February and the Canes look to bounce back after dropping a game in New Jersey.

Over/Under: (0-2-0)

Over 144  Princeton @ Columbia

Took this pick from a model* I’ve been working on, and if it’s calculations are correct the score should be between 148 and 151.

* I threw some numbers in an excel spreadsheet and did simple math

Parlay: (1-1-0)

-145 Canisius Golden Griffins (18-9,12-2) @ Monmouth Hawks (9-17,5-9)

+100 Georgia Southern (16-10,7-6) vs. Georgia State (19-7,10-3)

Not really sure why these picks stood out to me, they just looked like winners. Canisius is a weird little school, they’re mediocre at best in most sports but the Griffins always tend to grab better’s interest.